I used to be conceited, but now I'm perfect. Edit: I've had a profile for 15 years and I'm not changing it.
Age 37, Male
Bum
Lawrence University
Illinois
Joined on 6/13/03
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Thinking about it...
Read through all of the intro and instructions text
Your very first gold!
Die electrocuted
Achieve 30,000 points
Lose a life on the stakes.
Finish the tutorial.
Enter a rift.
Kill 150 or more of those buggers in the preloader game.
Launch 50 miles (264,000ft)
Get caught by a UFO